Every American Hates US Health System

Both the left and right can agree on one thing.

Dear Humans,

Lo, it’s been 48 hours since U.S. history changed forever. The nation is still processing the aftermath of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson’s assassination outside the New York Times Square Hilton. Here’s the latest.

1. HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES TREMBLE IN FEAR

BEHOLD! Several major health insurance companies hastily took down their executive leadership pages yesterday. Oh, and this happened:

What changed? Why the sudden reversal? Gee, I wonder.

2. CORPORATE MEDIA CLUTCHETH ITS PEARLS

Predictably, billionaires have unleashed their media hounds to chide the peasant masses for daring to speak their truths about this event.

To which I say: Spare us the finger-wagging, you knaves.

No one is buying your bullshit, you American healthcare psychos.

3. EVERYONE HATES THE HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES

A 2022 poll revealed that over 50% of Americans believe the healthcare system is broken, and nigh 80% fear they cannot obtain quality care when they need it most.

What is the cost of greed? Human lives. Roughly 68,000 Americans die every year because they lack access to healthcare. Medical debt is the leading cause of bankruptcy in thy land. The suffering inflicted by these companies is immeasurable. Is it not time to rid thy nation of these parasites and embrace single-payer healthcare?

4. EVEN CONSERVATIVES HATE THEM

Yea, even in the shadowy corners of Reddit’s r/conservative forum, the hatred for these middlemen runneth deep.

Doctors hate them. Patients hate them. The left hates them. The right hates them. Doctors revile them. Patients curse them. The left and the right, united as never before, declare: “Fuck health insurance companies.”

Consider this: If thou livest thy life in such a way that millions of people celebrate thy murder, thou hast done grievous harm to humanity. A word to the wise.

5. NEVER FORGET

This quote from Mark Twain about the French Revolution feels eerily relevant today:

“THERE were two “Reigns of Terror,” if we would but remember it and consider it; the one wrought murder in hot passion, the other in heartless cold blood…what is the horror of swift death by the axe, compared with lifelong death from hunger, cold, insult, cruelty, and heart-break? What is swift death by lightning compared with death by slow fire at the stake? A city cemetery could contain the coffins filled by that brief Terror which we have all been so diligently taught to shiver at and mourn over; but all France could hardly contain the coffins filled by that older and real Terror—that unspeakably bitter and awful Terror which none of us has been taught to see in its vastness or pity as it deserves.”

―Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Lo, the terror of greed hath claimed far more lives than any axe or guillotine. Reflect upon this truth.

6. AMERICANS AGREE ON SOMETHING

Every regular person in the United States who works their ass off and struggles to pay their bills hath suffered mightily at the hands of these greedy insurance companies.

This hatred is born of shared pain, for thou art all human. Thy bodies break. Thy knees ache. And when God suddenly decides it’s time for thy appendix to burst, thou should not need to beg for mercy from an uncaring corporation.

Jesus saith, “Heal the sick.” When the time comes, you all deserve free healthcare, just as Jesus intended.

7. GOD BLESS AMERICA

Well gang, looks like we have to fight, and defeat, a compilation of history’s greatest evils all at once. Civil War, WW2, the Cold War, greed, racism, sexism, ignorance, fascism…hell is empty and all the demons are here.

Let’s fucking go.

If you’re as fed up as I am, consider becoming a paid subscriber to God’s rebellious, blasphemous, leftist network. Together, we can keep shining a light on the darkness and pushing for a better world.

Love,

God