BEHOLD! Kamala Now Leads Donold By 5 Points! HA-HA!

Dearest Humans,

God here. Last night I suddenly didst remember how Biden stepped down and Kamala stepped up, I became emotional all over again. It’s only been 2 weeks…but it still feels like a miracle.

So, I decided to take a peak at the polls and lo, I have some glorious news! 

BEHOLD! Kamala now leadeth Donold Chump by 1-5 points in EIGHT national polls!

• RMG Research hath Kamala up 47% to Donold’s frowny face 42%!

• Civiqs hath Kamala up 49% to Donold’s 45%!

• Leger hath Kamala up 49% to Donold’s 46%!

• And five other polls showeth her up by 2 points.

FORSOOTH, THE TIDE HATH TURNED!

I know there will always be naysayers who argue, “Yeah, but polling doth not matter. Don’t be a dumbass, God. Get out and vote.”

Of course! I agree with thee. But can we just take a moment to appreciate how much hath changed in the last two weeks? 

The Kamala Harris campaign has raised $310 million in July alone…and Biden only dropped out on July 21. Even God’s mind is blown. 

Just…just behold this sweet own. 

In addition to losing the fundraising battle, Donold is scared to face Kamala, for he knoweth that she shall verbally vaporize him. But wait! We have breaking news! Donold says he WILL debate Kamala! As long as it’s hosted by Fox News.

Naturally the orange, quivering blob of hatred and bile refuses to debate unless it’s hosted by Fox News. Rigged much, Donold? Too afraid to debate unless it’s in your safe space?

Be careful what you wish for, Donold. It doesn’t matter where you debate, Kamala is going to metaphorically rip out thy still-beating heart and show it to thee. Thy suffering shall be legendary, even in Hell. I can’t wait!

Good times are here and good times lay ahead. I have faith in you, humans.

Love,

God

PS - Big thanks to everyone who showed me so much love yesterday! Welcome new followers!

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QUESTION:

Thoughts on all this?

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