Biden On His Age: "At Least I Didn’t Try To Kill My Own Vice President"

HOUSTON, TX - During a rally in front of a packed crowd, President Joe Biden took on concerns about his age with a sharp jab.

“Sure, I’m old,” Biden began, eliciting laughter. “But at least I didn’t try to kill my own vice president.”

The audience responded with laughter and applause, highlighting the contrast between Biden's steady leadership and the chaos of January 6th, when Trump supporters chanted about hanging Mike Pence.

Biden continued, “I get it, folks worry about my age. But let’s not forget that I never tried to kill my own vice president. That was Donald.”

His remarks came amid ongoing media scrutiny over the age of the nation's leaders. At 81, Biden is the oldest sitting president, a fact frequently noted by critics and pundits. This weekend the NY Times called on Biden to drop out, but never called for Trump to drop out after being convicted on 34 felony counts. 

Leaning into the moment, Biden emphasized, “I may be old, but Trump tried to have Mike Pence hanged. Mike Pence! Who was his biggest fanboy for 4 years. And in the debate, Donald didn’t rule out doing it again. The reason he needs a new VP is because he tried to kill the last one!”

Former Vice President Mike Pence has refused to endorse Donald Trump, presumably still upset that Donald tried to have him killed. 

Meanwhile, on Truth Social, Trump exploded in an all-caps meltdown: "CROOKED JOE IS LOSING IT! I NEVER INCITED! MIKE PENCE WAS NEVER IN DANGER, BUT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! THOSE BOOTYFUL J6 PROTESTORS WILL ATTACK THE CAPITAL FOR ME AS MANY TIMS AS I NEED TO!!!"

As the nation continues to navigate its complex political landscape, Biden’s stance reinforced the need for steady and principled leadership, and not someone who tried to kill his bestie last time. 

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Note: This article is satire and not a real news story, but wouldn't it be great if it were? Do you think this level of honesty is what we need in politics? Should Biden mention this more? Share your thoughts in the comments below!