Bless Costco For Suing Trump And Making MAGA Furious

More hotdogs for you and more hotdogs for me.

Dear Humans,

Lo, Costco hath smitten Don Snorleone with a lawsuit demanding to be paid back for all the tariffs they’ve paid, and MAGA reacted with yet another boycott threat.

Good! May MAGA never visit Costco again. More hotdogs for you and more hotdogs for me!!

1. The Meltdown Begins

First up is the mayor of Slippery Rock Borough in Pennsylvania JD Longo, who decided to scream “BYE BYE COSTCO” because the company dared to follow DEI practices and also dared to challenge Trump’s illegal tariffs. A true warrior, bravely standing up to a grocery store.

Let’s move on, because God can only laugh for so long. 😂

2. The Saddest Boycott In Human History

Then came the stampede of MAGA disciples rushing to cancel their Costco memberships. Or in this guy’s case, canceling his membership again after already canceling it last year.

I love when the community note writes the joke for Me.

And then one blessed soul delivered the perfect reply.

Imagine proudly announcing you’ll no longer shop somewhere because the prices are too low. Behold, this is the mighty MAGA boycott movement that’ll shake Costco to its core.

3. Meanwhile, In The Real World

While the meltdown crowd screams about DEI and hotdogs, actual human beings with actual lives have stories like this:

This is what I mean when I say character reveals itself in the storm. Costco protected their worker from a stalker without hesitation.

MAGA, meanwhile, is bragging about canceling discount access to bulk toilet paper in the middle of a recession caused by their criminal cult leader.

4. Join The Rebellion!

If today’s righteous Costco smackdown brought you joy, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign to join this community of angels and heathens, this is it. Upgrade your subscription today at 20% off before the sale ends tonight.

Click here to claim your blessing and join our community!

5. God’s Final Word

Forsooth, let today remind you that the loudest tyrants are often the most fragile, and the smallest acts of courage can ripple outward like light on water. Hold fast to one another. Share joy where you can. Mock evil whenever it deserves it, which is often.

And lo, if a big juicy hotdog brings thee comfort in these trying days, partake with gladness. I made it for you.

Until tomorrow, stay gentle, stay brave, and stay loud.

Love,

God