Dear Humans,
Bless Indiana for defying Trump this week! They refused his election rigging plot and his threats. He’s not taking his latest humiliating defeat well.
Nothing delights the LORD more than watching stupid Donold’s grip on power chip and shatter.
1. Indiana Said No And The Spell Cracked
Lo, in case thou missed it, here’s what happened.
Donald knows he’s deeply unpopular and polling at 31%. He’s terrified of the midterm bloodbath coming in 2026, because then he will be investigated for the many crimes he’s committed just in the last 11 months alone. Therefore, he desperately wants to gerrymander every state and rig the midterms to protect himself.
This is why he ordered the Indiana GOP to redraw the maps. When they said no, he insanely threatened to pull all federal funding and primary every single one of them, whether they supported the gerrymander or not.
Left with no choice by the demented tyrant, Indiana Republicans chose to say “fuck you, Donald.” As a result, Indiana will not destroy democracy to save Trump in 2026.
And so that’s why when I went to write this, I saw that total loser Donald had just posted another melt down and swore revenge at 1am in the morning.
2. The Leaks Are Everywhere Now
Let God recap the joyous news of Donold’s impending demise.
He’s hiding his bruised hand and cankles and lying about it.
He gets tested for dementia every week.
He gets MRIs on his brain every week.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is his sworn enemy now!
As many as 20 Republicans are expected to resign in January because they don’t want to be on the Death Star when it blows.
Democrats are poised to pick up as many as 50 seats in the midterms.
Donald is terrified of prosecution by the International Criminal Court.
And yes, God has not forgotten that he publicly said he knows he’s not getting into Heaven. He’s right. I send the Ghost of Christmas Future to spook him every single night.
Justice is coming for him and all of his corrupt goons.
We will not forgive or forget. We are going to defeat these evil bastards. Stick close to God now. We’ve got this.
3. God’s Favorite Memes Right Now
And now for something completely different.
Here are a few of my favorite memes and divine rejoinders today.
4. 31% Off Today To Match Trump’s Approval Rating
If today’s righteous reckoning stirred your soul, if you feel the cracks widening and want this voice to stay loud while it’s happening, this is how you help.
Today only, I’m offering 31% off, to match Donald’s approval rating.
Claim your blessing and help keep independent, fearless writing alive while it actually matters.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
We know what trump is capable of, we are seeing it play out in real time. What we don't know, is what Juvie Vance is capable of, when he ascends to the golden toilet. Will Vance continue to allow Vought to run the oval office? Does he have a bunch of new ass eaters lined up to replace trump's cabinet? Will Vance continue the make believe war that trump is itching to start with Venezuela? Until trump drops dead, we won't know any of these answers. Will it get worse under Vance? The GOP always finds a way to go lower.
The spectre looming over the Indiana Republicans' spine against Sleepy Donald is the former Governor who began his political career as a conservative talk radio host in the Hoosier State: Mike Pence. Sending his replacement, Jamie Hamel, err, Vice President JD Vance to Indiana several times amounted to insult to injury. Another hilarious misstep by Trump's gang of fools.