Football Player To Be Fined By NFL For Insane Right Wing Comments, Just Kidding, That Would Never Happen

Faces Possible ‘Blackballing’ From League, In Another Universe

Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker has faced severe backlash all over social media since he made offensive statements about women during his commencement speech at Benedictine College. Butker suggested that women have been “diabolically lied to” and should stop seeking job promotions and titles and instead lean into their “vocation” of being a homemaker. Now NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has indicated that Butker will be fined for his conduct.

“We here at the NFL would never condone misogynistic, bigoted, homophobic attitudes amongst our pros,” said Goodell at a press conference on the issue. “For that reason, Harrison Butker will be fined $100,000.”

The Kansas City Chiefs are said to be considering releasing the kicker for his comments.

“I am so disappointed in Harrison,” said Chiefs head coach Andy Reid. “Some things are more important than winning, such as decency.”

Indeed, NFL rumors indicate that Butker might be facing a possible ‘blackballing’ from the league over his strong political positions.

“Why do these people always have to bring their politics into sports?” said an exasperated fan on a Chiefs message board. “Just play the game! Just kick the ball! Nobody wants to hear about your wackadoo religious convictions, weirdo.”

ESPN’s Adam Shefter has spoken with Butker, who has refused to back down from his comments, and is considering playing in the AFL (Amish Football League.)

NOTE: This story is a work of satirical fiction. The NFL would never fine or ‘blackball’ a player for being too right wing. They only do that if you take a knee during the national anthem because you believe that Black people’s lives actually matter.