Dolly Parton Fan Army Declares ‘Operation Rhinestone Shield,’ Seizes Offices of ‘The Federalist’

"We ride at dawn."

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a bold and unexpected move, the Dolly Parton Fan Army has launched "Operation Rhinestone Shield," successfully seizing the offices of conservative news site "The Federalist."

The fan army, known for their fierce loyalty and bedazzled denim jackets, began their takeover early Saturday morning. Witnesses report a convoy of pink Cadill…