BREAKING: God Releases List of Demands That Must Be Met Before He Will Bless America Again

HEAVEN - God Almighty issued an ultimatum today, detailing a series of demands that must be met before He will ever consider blessing America again.

“I am sick and tired of politicians asking me to bless America all the time,” said God on his podcast, The God Pod. “America will never be blessed again until my list of demands is met. I am extremely serious about these demands. You have four years to comply, or else I reserve the right to smite.”

God’s Demands:

1. Defeat Donald Trump and Lock Him Up: "Thou shalt defeat the false idol and dismantle his cult of personality that spreads division and hatred. Thou shalt put him where he belongs—in prison!"

2. Stop Project 2025: "Thou shalt stop the regressive Project 2025 initiative immediately. You are making Jesus and Me look just awful. We are so embarrassed."

3. Expand the Supreme Court: "Thou shalt expand the Supreme Court to restore balance and fairness."

4. Impeach Clarence Thomas, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett, and Samuel Alito: "Thou shalt remove from office those who undermine justice and integrity."

5. Reverse Citizens United: "Thou shalt get money out of politics. No longer shall the rich buy power and influence."

6. End the Electoral College: "Thou shalt have one person, one vote. Enough with the antiquated system that distorts democracy."

7. End Lobbying: "Thou shalt eliminate the influence of money on politics and policy, for bribery is an abomination unto Me."

8. Abolish Gerrymandering: "Thou shalt draw fair and just electoral districts. Let not thine politicians manipulate boundaries for their own gain."

9. Ban Guns Entirely: "Thou shalt rid the land of weapons that bring death and destruction. Peace shall reign."

10. Enshrine Separation of Church and State in the Constitution Again: "Thou shalt make it extra super duper clear. Thou shalt not hang the Ten Commandments in classrooms, because that is really stupid."

11. Tax the Billionaires Till There Are No Billionaires Anymore: "Thou shalt tax billionaires into oblivion, for wealth hoarding is an abomination."

12. Break Up Monopolies: "Thou shalt dismantle monopolistic corporations so that a few do not control everything."

13. Reduce Rampant, Out of Control Military Spending and Use the Money to Fund Other Things Like Science, Education, and Healthcare: "Thou shalt prioritize the well-being of My creation over excessive militarism."

14. Universal Healthcare: "Thou shalt ensure that all My children have access to healing and medical care, free from financial ruin."

15. Universal Student Debt Forgiveness: "Thou shalt relieve the burdens of debt from those seeking knowledge and education."

16. Universal Basic Income: "Thou shalt provide a safety net for all, ensuring that none of My children live in poverty."

17. Free College Education for All: "Thou shalt make higher education accessible to everyone."

18. Free Pre-K Childcare: "Thou shalt provide free and accessible childcare, so that parents may work without worry."

19. Free Mental Health Care: "Thou shalt provide comprehensive mental health care for all who need it."

20. Mandatory Paid Parental Leave: "Thou shalt support families with paid leave for new parents."

21. Four-Day Workweek and More Vacation Weeks Per Year: "Thou shalt allow more rest and relaxation for all workers to improve quality of life."

22. Make Election Day a Holiday: "Thou shalt make Election Day a national holiday so all can exercise their right to vote."

23. Misinformation Becomes a Felony: "Thou shalt make the spreading of repeated, intentional misinformation a felony. Truth must prevail."

24. Ban Single-Use Plastics: "Thou shalt protect My creation by eliminating wasteful plastic products."

25. Crack Down on Corporate Polluting: "Thou shalt hold corporations accountable for environmental damage."

26. Invest in a National Rail System: "Thou shalt develop a modern and efficient national rail system to reduce reliance on cars and planes."

27. Strengthen Labor Laws and Support Unionization: "Thou shalt protect workers' rights and promote fair labor practices."

28. Comprehensive Immigration Reform: "Thou shalt create a more humane and fair immigration system."

29. Animal Rights Protections: "Thou shalt implement stronger animal cruelty laws and promote animal welfare."

30. End Daylight Savings Time: "Thou shalt cease the biannual madness of changing clocks."

31. Universal High-Speed Internet: "Thou shalt provide reliable internet access to all, for knowledge is power."

32. Turn All Billboards Into Public Art: "Thou shalt replace advertisements with beautiful art to inspire and uplift."

33. Taco Trucks on Every Corner: "Thou shalt ensure delicious and accessible food for all."

God concluded by saying, "And that’s just for starters, because I bet there’s lots of stuff I forgot! This is God’s Divine Plan 2025! Heed these commands! Or face My continued absence. Thou hast been warned."

As Americans grapple with these heavenly mandates, the nation stands at a crossroads. Will the people rise to the challenge and transform their society, or will they face even more years devoid of blessings? The fate of America now hangs in the balance, and the world watches with bated breath.

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QUESTION:

What do you think of God’s demands? If you could only pick three, which ones would you pick?

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