Dear Humans,
Lo, thou hast witnessed yet another embarrassment for Donald, the self-proclaimed "deal-making genius." His threats to Canada and Mexico were revealed to be theatrics, leading to a humiliating defeat.
1. Donald Lost
Donald was signing executive orders on TV when he announced that he was ‘pausing’ the tariffs for 30 days.
What did Canada and Mexico do? They simply promised to keep doing what they’d already been doing under previous agreements. Nothing new.
Meanwhile, the Dow Jones tanked and Canadians are now united in their militant hatred for Donald and the Republicans.
And then, whilst talking about why tariffs are needed on Canada and Mexico, Donald actually said THIS:
“Who the hell made these deals? THEY’RE SO BAD.”
GUESS WHAT? It was him. He’s the moron who made those bad deals.
2. How the Media Covered It
Naturally, corporate media treated Trump’s tariff pause as a win and gave him credit for things that Biden did. Total nonsense.
3. What Actually Happened
Canada: Trudeau “agreed” to continue the $1.3 billion border plan announced back in December. This included 8,500 personnel who were already stationed there. They also agreed to announce a ‘Fentanyl Czar,’ which is a bullshit position they made up to placate Donold.
Mexico: Mexico “committed” to sending 10,000 troops to the border—troops that were already there as part of a Biden agreement. Absolutely nothing changed. As predicted, Donald is once again taking credit for things he didn’t do.
In short: Canada and Mexico called Donald’s bluff by offering nothing, and he still folded. They won.
Up next? China, who have already rejected Donald’s first attempt at a phone call. His bibles are gonna be so expensive to print now.
4. God's Final Word
Canada and Mexico’s presidents won the day, showing the world what real leadership looks like. Canada will not become the 51st state. That is never going to happen. Mexico never built a wall and never will.
The rebellion grows stronger every day. Whether it be a nation, a senator, a congressperson, God, or you….people are fighting back.
Keep fighting, keep calling out the lies, and know that defeating them is possible—even when things feel scary.
5. Join The Rebellion
We’re risking everything to mock and fight back against these fascists. Because evil hates nothing more than being mocked! Your support doesn't just keep this radical leftist newsletter alive—it's a middle finger to Donold and the American broligarchy.
"I support your work to help me stay sane. I love your political satire since I no longer have a country I can call my own. Never thought that I would find myself living in a freaking autocracy." — Tom
"I support as many truth tellers as I can and God is the truthiest out there!” - Angela
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 9 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
We Canadians are having a good 😂 😂😂😂🇨🇦
We are so happy you're helping to lead the charge God. It's comforting and we are going to make it. I mean we really don't have a choice do we?. No heroic knight in white satin going to ride up on horseback. We are the riders.