Donald Panics As Polls Drop To Worst In History

SMITE!

Dear Humans,

Lo, Donald Trump’s approval rating after 98 days in office is the lowest in the history of numbers. And yet, his numbers deserve to fall much further still. Grab some popcorn and enjoy watching the antichrist squirm.

1. The Free Money Meltdown

Trump’s approval rating hath fallen in every poll.

Some show him at 41%, others as low as 39% - worse than any president at this point since modern polling started in 1940.

And lo, he hath earned every drop with his own stupidity and madness. Thou shalt keep plunging his numbers ever downward.

Facing total humiliation, Trump proclaimed that tariffs would "eliminate" income taxes without any explanation as to how. Magic?

The lying scum claimed '“new plants and factories are already being created” but conveniently didn’t provide any specifics.

He screeched about a coming "bonanza" and invented the "External Revenue Service.”

But the people aren’t buying his insane bullshit this time. They see what he’s doing and they DO NOT like it.

2. God’s Final Word

Take heart, weary souls.

The fool howls into the storm, unheard. His kingdom crumbles into dust. His story shall end in shame and ruin.

The LORD promises you all this and more.

3. Join God’s Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist podcast alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• "I need a laugh or I will go crazy. Plus, I support media not owned by any corporation. God is great." - Gina

• "Heather Cox Richardson quoted you the other day, so I know God is for real! Yay, God! " - Caiside

• "How are you able to make me laugh and inform me at the same time, with every post and podcast? I finally admitted I need to give you money because I read everything you post." — Nancy M

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 11 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.

Love,

God