Donold Furious We All Won’t Stop Talking About SignalGate
You know what to do.
Dear Humans,
BEHOLD! Donold is worried. His team leaked war plans in a group chat. And now that even Republicans are calling for an investigation, Donold wants everyone to shut up about it. Which makes God want to talk about it…a lot!
1. Please Stop Talking About It!!!
When a fascist dictator starts screeching at the press to stop telling the truth, you know he’s worried. He rages when he’s scared.
You cannot lie your way out of this one, Donold.
He also called SignalGate “boring.”
That’s MAGA for “I’m panicking.” Of course, it’s not boring. It’s the biggest national security scandal that has ever occurred in the history of the United States and it’s not even close.
Even Republicans are now calling for a full investigation into the SignalGate leak. They know this wasn’t just a gaffe. It was a window into how recklessly these people operate.
2. Thou Shalt Keep It Going!
He wants this story to die because it’s real.
Because he can’t control it.
Because leaking classified military ops is the kind of mistake you don’t get to laugh off.
Because even his supporters are horrified by the astounding levels of incompetence.
You know what to do. Make this scandal keep trending.
Don’t ever let them forget how stupid, reckless, and dangerous his team is.
Bless you, humans!
3. Join The Rebellion
In just three months, we’ve grown from 73,000 to 124,000 subscribers. That’s 51,000 new wonderful people who refuse to stay silent. Every day, more people are joining this rebellion.
But here’s the thing—only a small percentage of readers actually support this work financially. If even a few more stepped up, we could expand our reach, expose more corruption, and push back harder against these fascist goons.
"We the people are pissed and God's words are what we need, and have always needed, in these dire times. We must stand together, or hang separately." - Dave
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. This isn’t just a newsletter anymore. It’s a movement. And it’s growing fast. Join God’s rebellion today:
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
Harry Truman's desk had a sign: "The buck stops here."
Trump's Desk: "A stable genius gets to deflect blame and cover up crimes. So fuck off."
He needs something punchier.
Good. Stay mad, Donny. Signalgate forever.