Donold To Flee to Venezuela If He Loses? Deal!

BEHOLD! Donold, in a moment of desperation, revealed his grand escape plan during a chat with Elon Musk! Venezuela awaits him if (and when) he loses in November.

Of course, he said something similar last time. “If I lose to Joe Biden I’ll leave the country and you’ll never see me again.” But it was just another damn lie!

Just between you and Me? I don’t think he’s kidding this time.

"If something happens with this election, which would be a horror show, we'll meet the next time in Venezuela, because it'll be a far safer place to meet than our country," Trump said to Musk.

If something happens? You mean, if your plans to cheat don’t work, and you lose in a massive landslide? Okay cool. Glad we’re on the same page about what’s going to happen.

"OK, so we'll go. You and I will go, and we'll have a meeting and dinner in Venezuela."

HAHAHA! This is just sad. He desperately wants his new sugar daddy to go so that he won’t have to live in poverty.

Did you ever read that book Of Mice And Men? Remember the ending?

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In addition to a narcissistic collapse, Donold is also clearly going through the five stages of grief over his bad poll numbers. Let’s review:

1. DENIAL: It was just two days ago he denied that Kamala’s crowds are real, opting instead to falsely accuse her of using AI.

2. ANGER: When is he not angry? One of the angriest people I’ve ever seen.

3. BARGAINING: This is where I place his ‘fleeing to Venezuela’ comments. Donold is coping with the very likely reality that he will lose. If he loses he will wind up in prison, and he knows it. So, like any Nazi, he is now fantasizing about his eventual escape to South America.

4. DEPRESSION: Waves of depression hit him all day long, and he bounces back through stages 1-3.

5. ACCEPTANCE: He will never reach this stage.

Donold wasn’t done though, as he continued to assure himself that Venezuela would be a safe place for him to retire with his new BFF Elon.

"Their crime rate is coming down and our crime rate is going through the roof. And it's so simple.”

It goes without saying, but this isn’t true, of course. Crime shot up when the convicted felon was president, but has gone down sharply with Biden at the helm. However, Donold still clearly has some concerns about moving to Venezuela.

"I'll tell you what. Venezuela has not gotten rid of all of them. They've gotten rid of about 70 percent of their really bad people," he told Musk.

Of course, none of that is happening. But it’s what Donold needs to tell himself to feel better as the Walz close in on him.

Venezuela is a country ruled by a dictator named Maduro, who recently ‘won’ the country’s election in what everyone in the world knows was a rigged vote. I am quite sure that Donold looks up to him.

OPERATION NOAH’S ARK

In 2022, it was reported that Vladimir Putin and his cronies had a backup plan to flee to Venezuela if Russia were to be defeated in Ukraine.

According to a former speechwriter for Putin named Abbas Gallyamov, who is now a political analyst, trusted source told him about this plan, which is called ‘Noah’s Ark.’

"As the name [Noah's Ark] implies, it is about finding new lands where you can go in case it becomes completely uncomfortable in your homeland," wrote Gallyamov. "The leader's entourage does not exclude that he will lose the war, lose power and he will have to urgently evacuate somewhere."

Noah’s…Ark? NOAH’S ARK? A Noah’s Ark…for assholes?

Two by two they’ll go, Trump and Putin, Kim Jong Un and Elon, dictators and billionaires and their cronies and hangers-on and aides-de-camp, and arrive in Venezuela where they can all just finally bro-down together, do some bong rips and maybe play some Madden.

But you know what? I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen. That’s not usually how dictators meet their fates.

It’s too good to be true, Donold!

Think Saddam. Think Mussolini. Think Hitler in the bunker.

QUESTION:

Thoughts on all this?

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While this newsletter is growing, we rely entirely on your support to continue. Donold’s cult of followers do not hesitate to fund his lies…or his legal bills! Every single person who subscribes and reads this newsletter pushes our lines forward. If you are as disgusted by the rise of Christian Nationalism as I am, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.

Here it is, your moment of Bliss: