Gus Walz Stands Strong

Dear Humans,

Night 3 of the DNC didst feature stirring speeches from Oprah Winfrey, Pete Buttigieg, and Tim Walz. I’d like to focus on one moment from Coach Walz’ speech that hath captured all of our hearts and left us in tears.

Mr. Walz was discussing the difficulties he and his wife faced in conceiving a child. He recounted how, only after years of trying, and with the help of intrauterine insemination (IUI), they finally succeeded and named their first child Hope.

Here is that exact moment.

More than any stump speech, any attack ad, any pundit’s thoughts…the reaction from Coach Walz’ children doth tell us exactly who he is.

Hope, struggling to contain her emotion, didst mouth over and over, “I love you, Dad.” Gus stood and pointed at his father and proclaimed for all the world, “that’s my Dad!” A teenager cannot fake such genuine love and respect. It must be earned.

Compare this to the relationship that Donald hath with his sons and daughters. It’s something you will never see, for he simply doth not love his children.

Donald is incapable of feeling love! He understandeth not the concept of sacrifice. This is why he is constantly insulting veterans who were shot or killed in war. He will never understand sacrificing yourself for others. This, more than any other reason, is why Donald is unfit to lead.

Coach Walz on the other hand? I’d follow this guy to the gates of Hell. And then I’d tackle Satan.

You know, I haven’t given a lot of big speeches like this one in my life. But I’ve given a lot of pep talks. So let me finish with this, team. It’s the fourth quarter. We’re down a field goal.

But we’re on offense. We’re driving down the field. And, boy, do we have the right team to win this. Kamala Harris is tough. She’s experienced. And she’s ready. Our job is to get in the trenches and do the blocking and tackling.

One inch at a time, one yard at a time, one phone call at a time, one door knock at a time, one $5 donation at a time. We’ve only got 76 days to go. That’s nothing. We’ll sleep when we’re dead. And we’re gonna leave it all on the field.

WELL SAID, COACH! THAT’S ME-DAMNED RIGHT!!!

THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!

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