Happy January 6th, Democrats!

Have fun not storming the capitol!

Dearest Human,

Happy January 6th, Democrats! Have fun not storming the Capitol! While one party brings gallows and zip ties to hang their own vice president, the other will dutifully confirm a psychopath to become president again today.

Verily, January 6th has not only become a lesson in how to get away with treason—but also how to build a corporate-sponsored brand out of it! Buckle up, cuz God is PISSED.

1. What Accountability?

History is written by the ‘winners.’ And also by the whiners, apparently. The biggest batch of cry-baby sore-losers to ever exist seem to have ended up getting away with it. Trump says he’s going to pardon them all. That said, he’s said he would do that before and then not done it, so if he doesn’t do it this time, it would be the funniest thing to ever freaking happen.

We’ve officially entered the phase where insurrections are good strategy. But when are Democrats going to do one?? HA! That was a joke, because they never will, even when it’s been proven they work and no one cares anyway.

2. Corporate America Bends The Knee

You’d think companies would steer clear of funding a twice-impeached, insurrection-friendly former president. Nope. They’re doubling down.

As of January 6, 2025, several major corporations have made significant contributions to President-elect Donald Trump's upcoming inauguration. Here are the top contributors:

• Uber Technologies: $2 million

• Amazon: $1 million in cash and an additional $1 million in-kind by streaming the inauguration ceremony on Amazon Prime, totaling $2 million.

• Meta: $1 million

• Ford Motor Company: $1 million

• General Motors (GM): $1 million

• Toyota Motor Corporation: $1 million

• OpenAI: $1 million

These companies aren’t just hedging their bets—they’re cashing in. Oh and did I mention Amazon is doing a documentary on Melania, that’s being directed by Brett Ratner?

3. The New History Playbook

Here’s how history gets rewritten:

• Donate millions to the guy who inspired an insurrection.

• Create movies and narratives about how actually it wasn’t so bad.

• Brainwash people into thinking terrorists are heroes

What’s next? Statues for the attackers? How about a theme park? Insurrection World™: The Happiest Coup on Earth! Maybe make January 6th into a national holiday? Kids could dress up as the Qanon Shaman and smear shit on the walls of their schools!

4. No One Is Coming To Save Us

The problem isn’t just Trump—it’s the machine propping him up. It’s the money, the corporate media, and the revisionist storytelling that’s erasing what actually happened on January 6th. And if this is how we deal with an insurrection, what happens next?

No one is coming to save us. Not the corporations. Not your elected leaders. It’s truly on us. We have to unite against the billionaire class that is just fine with using fascism and propaganda to keep us all at each other’s throats.

Thou shalt never forget the true history written that day.

5. Join The Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Every network and billionaire is bending the knee to Donold Trump and his fascist ambitions.

We are risking everything to stand against him and his goons. Your support isn’t just helping us keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for truth, resistance, and survival.

So if you’ve enjoyed today’s righteous reckoning, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. Upgrade your subscription today at 20% off before the sale ends tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and keep the smites coming.

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but saving the world is divine.

Love,

God