I Made A Thunderstorm To Ruin Trump’s Stupid Birthday Parade

No Kings!

Dear Humans,

Trump spent $45 million on tanks, paratroopers, and a banner of his own face to feel like a king on his birthday. So I scheduled a thunderstorm.

1. God Joins The ‘No Kings’ Protests

June 14 will be ‘No Kings Day.’

All your friends are gonna be marching.

YOU are gonna be marching.

Even the Pope is giving a speech!

Did you think God was gonna miss out on such a swell party?

Thanks to the rain and thunder being cooked up yours truly, the Army now says if there’s lightning, they’ll cancel the jumps, ground the jets, and disperse the crowd.

And guess what the forecast shows? 60% chance of storms and lightning right at parade time. HA-HA!

I’m not sure that many people were going to show up for Donold’s birthday bash anyway, given how unpopular he is.

A new poll has him at 38% approval, 52% disapproval. That must be why they’re advertising for seat-fillers on Craigslist.

2. No Kings Day Will Be MUCH Bigger Than Donold’s Stupid Birthday Parade

While Trump plays dictator with your tax dollars, over 1,500 cities are holding No Kings Day protests.

Millions of Americans will be peacefully marching against Dictator Donold this weekend.

Donold’s 79th birthday party parade isn’t patriotic. It’s pathetic. When it comes to honoring the military, you’re supposed to celebrate D-Day, not B-Day.

Remember that time he didn’t visit a US cemetery in France because of a little rain?

That’s also when he called Americans who died in war “losers and suckers” according to his Chief of Staff at the time, John Kelly.

You think God forgot? God remembers. And George Washington is pissed.

3. Let It Rain!

I’ve flooded the Earth for much less.

A man this obsessed with looking strong is deeply afraid of being seen as weak.

Which is why it’s going to be so fun watching him sulk and pout because God intervened to ruin his fascism-themed birthday party.

Let every clap of thunder remind this wannabe king that he is not the storm.

I am.

4. God Bless Senator Alex Padilla

God bless US Senator Alex Padilla, who yesterday tried to ask a simple question and was thrown down and cuffed for it. This outrage has sparked the movement. Let his courage and leadership be an inspiration unto all of us ahead of this weekend’s marches.

As Senator Padilla said - If they can do this to a senator in public, what do you think they’ll do to the rest of us behind closed doors?

I’m not just angry. I’m done waiting.

Done pretending this isn’t fascism.

And corporate media? They’re already running cover. Words like “detained.” “Escorted.” “He wasn’t arrested.”

We don’t need cable news. We need a movement.

I want to grow this operation. Hire more people. Build the kind of divine media machine they can’t cancel or ignore.

I want comedians. Researchers. Writers. Fighters. Prophets.

People who are ready to tell the truth.

And I want to do it with you.

This isn’t a newsletter. This is your movement.
This is the underground church of truth in the empire of bullshit.
This is God unplugged and pissed off.

Are you with Me? No, seriously…are you with Me?? Because I’m with you. Every post. Every curse. Every smite.

I hate this part. But I have to.

We are massively outgunned.

We are up against billions in right-wing billionaire blood money. The right wing propaganda machine is running 24/7.

Let’s go, Angels!

All I’ve got is you.

If you believe in independent media that tells the truth and takes no prisoners, now’s the time to step up. Subscribe to Letters from God today. Or gift a subscription to someone who needs it.

This is how we grow. This is how we fight. This is how we win.

LET’S GO!