Katie Britt Proposes GPS Collar Tags For Pregnant Women

“Just like zoo animals!”

Alabama Senator Katie Britt celebrated Mother’s Day 2024 by proposing a new addition to ‘The More Opportunities for Moms to Succeed (Moms) act; the ability to snap GPS collars onto pregnant women’s necks for better tracking.

“Just like zoo animals!” exclaimed an excited Britt on CBS ‘Face The Nation.’ “This will help pregnant mothers who are thinking about getting an abortion, because we will be able to track their location, and if they get close to an abortion clinic, we can take them aside for prayer guidance.”

The MOMS Act will establish an online government database called “pregnancy.gov” listing pro-life resources related to pregnancy as well as friendly governmental help on how to attain a ‘comfy’ animal tracking collar.

“I will demonstrate on my cat Serena,” said Britt, attaching a collar tag around her cat’s neck. “You just snap it into place and voila! Serena here will never escape my watchful eye again. I would never allow my cute little kitty cat to get an abortion because she’s a born-again Christian.”

The MOMS act will also establish a government force to capture and tag unwilling pregnant women, who are “unwilling to love Jesus.”

In a statement, Britt said the bill was proof that “you can absolutely be pro-life, pro-woman, pro-family, and bag and tag pregnant women against their will and keep them fully under government control at the same time, as long as you smile and act all smarmy about it.”