Laura Loomer Banned From Bluesky Within One Hour

SMITE!

Dearest Human,

BEHOLD! It is now Day 4 of The Fall of the Broman Empire. MAGA has imploded and Musk is begging for mercy.

1. Elon Musk Begs for Positivity

On the platform he paid $44 billion for, only to speed-run turning into a raging dumpster fire of toxicity, I shit thee not, Elon Musk posted this:

“Please post a bit more positive, beautiful, or informative content on this platform.”

Oh, Elon. You were the one that killed Twitter and turned it into a haven for dickheads and disinformation. You made your bed, now you must lie in it. Thou hast reaped what thou hast sown, Elon.

2. Laura Loomer Banned With The Quickness

While Elon is out here begging for people to stop hating him, Laura Loomer actually tried to signup for Bluesky. What makes this ridiculous is that she has already been banned on every other platform other than Twitter for her long record of hate-speech.

Bluesky, a refuge and haven for leftists and liberals, already has the reputation of a site that stringently moderates.

So Bluesky moderators took one look at her and said, “Oh hell no.”

3. The Hypocrisy Is Strong

Laura Loomer is outraged about being banned for “simply existing.” Verily, the hypocrisy burneth hot.

This is the same person who has spent her entire career trying to erase the existence of immigrants, Muslims, and trans people. She has championed walls, bans, and policies designed to make other people’s lives impossible.

Maybe take a moment to reflect on what it feels like to be excluded for “simply existing.”

4. Be Like Jimmy

Which brings me to Jimmy Carter. Jimmy didn’t wait for someone to beg for positivity—he lived it. He picked up a hammer, built homes, and left the world a little better than he found it.

If you want a role model for how to exist online—or anywhere—it’s Jimmy.

Jimmy's here in Heaven, and let me tell you, it's rare to meet someone who got the 'love thy neighbor' part so right.

Be like Jimmy.

5. Join The Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Every network and billionaire seems to be bending the knee to Donold Trump and his fascist ambitions. The man literally wants to take over the world—and he’s coming for all of us who dare to oppose him.

We are risking everything to stand against him and his goons. Your support isn’t just helping us keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for truth, resistance, and survival.

So if you’ve enjoyed today’s righteous reckoning, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. Upgrade your subscription today at 20% off before the sale ends tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and keep the smites coming.

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.

Love,

God

PS - Make sure to follow God on Bluesky!