MAGA Farmer To Lose Farm Because of Donold

Farm around and find out.

Dear Humans,

Behold, another MAGA disciple hath been smote—not by Me, but by his own blind loyalty to Donold. Let us gather ‘round and bask in the warm glow of self-inflicted consequences.

1. Farm Around and Find Out

Lo, yet another MAGA disciple hath reaped what he hath sown. A Missouri farmer, who voted for Donold without so much as reading a policy, is now watching his farm collapse—thanks to the very policies he supported. And verily, he took to TikTok to cry about it.

2. Trump Voter Loses $320,000

Behold, MAGA farmer Skylar Holden, who bet his livelihood on Donold and lost. Holden had a $240,000 contract with Trump’s USDA for fencing, wells, and water lines—but before he could cash in, the funding was frozen. Now, after sinking $80,000 of his own money into improvements, he stands to lose everything.

All told it’s a $320,000 disaster. All because he trusted Donold.

And the WORST part? He said that he voted for Trump based on a 25-question online quiz. He also said he had “no time to research” before voting.

“Daddy says I own you.”

3. God's Final Word

How are these people this stupid? He had NO TIME to research his vote?! The election went on forever. Give God a fricking break. This is the dumbest me-damned timeline.

Donold will not be helping this or any other farmer. He’s too busy stealing money.

Donold literally just ‘paused’ the ban on bribery of foreign officials. They also ‘shut down’ the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau?? They are claiming to fight fraud whilst looting the treasury in broad daylight.

Sigh…don’t worry, humans. Just keep calm and rebel on. I promise you that someday we’ll wake up and this insanity will all be over.

4. Join God's Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist podcast alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• "I need a laugh or I will go crazy. Plus, I support media not owned by any corporation. God is great." - Gina

• "Heather Cox Richardson quoted you the other day, so I know God is for real! Yay, God! " - Caiside

• "How are you able to make me laugh and inform me at the same time, with every post and podcast? I finally admitted I need to give you money because I read everything you post." — Nancy M

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 9 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.

Love,

God