MAGA Melts Down Over “Woke Marxist Pope”

Papal schadenfreude.

Dear Humans,

White smoke rose. And then the screaming began. They wanted a Pope as evil as Donald. Instead, they got one who follows Christ. And lo, what a rich bounty of papal schadenfreude was found for thine enjoyment.

1. MAGA Has Full-Blown Papal Meltdown

In case you’re just joining us, new Pope Leo has criticized Donald Trump for years online, leading to this headline from The NY Post:

So of course, the right wing completely lost it.

Megyn Kelly just realized she’s on the wrong side of history.

Look upon Jack Posobiec’s stupefied face and cry with laughter.

Sean Hannity said, and God shits thee not:

“It sounds like he’s been indoctrinated into the liberal way of thinking.”

Yes, Sean. It’s almost like he’s following the word of Christ.

They’re not even trying to claim him anymore. After all, he dared to criticize their cult leader, Pope Antichrist the Asshole.

Oh no, a Pope who’s not fascist. The horror!

There are so many of these posts, but I couldn’t find one yet from Marjorie Taylor Greene! Probably because she’s running for Senate now and very worried about going up against the first American Pope.

If thou wouldst judge a man by his enemies, then Pope Leo must be pretty damn good.

Anyway, just wait until these bigots find out…he has Black ancestry from Louisiana. All of their heads are going to explode all at once.

2. God’s Final Word

They’re not mad because the Pope is dangerous. They’re mad because he cares.

Pope Leo XIV believes that caging children is unholy. That loving your neighbor applies across borders. That Jesus didn’t rank people based on where they were born.

And that terrifies them.

Because fascism does not fear fire.

It fears empathy.

“We have lost the Church.”

Good.

Maybe now Jesus can finally get it back.

3. Join The Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

But here’s the thing…only a very small percentage of readers actually support this work financially. If even a few more stepped up, we could push back even harder against these fascist psychopaths.

What our readers are saying:

• "Having followed you since your early twitter days, I thought it was about damned time to support thee, almighty God of kickassery. " — Darrow

• "You are right on target with what I believe the great creator would think of Donold and his buddies. Keep up the good work!" - Cindy

• "I've always enjoyed your FB posts. This inauguration, I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!" — Nancy

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 12 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

The new Pope gets it. Truth matters. Love matters. And we’re not alone.

Love,

God

👍 If you’re thrilled the Pope made MAGA cry, hit like.
💬 Comment if you’ve also been accused of being a woke Marxist.
🔁 Share this if thou art relieved the Catholic Church has clearly decided to fight back against Trumpism.