Dear Humans,
I don’t need attention on my birthday, but people seem to be focused on a new Savior this Christmas.
The United Healthcare CEO shooter, Luigi Mangione, was recently transferred to New York to be sentenced, and the media was trained on his every movement across state lines.
It didn’t take long for the humans to see that Luigi experienced a bit of a glow up while in a Pennsylvania prison.
A new haircut and possibly trimmed up eyebrows have left him looking better than he did when the cops last shared photos of him.
And with many on the internet deciding that he’s a hero, they’ve started drawing comparisons between Me and him...and making OUTRAGEOUS CLAIMS!!!
Wait, we’re similar?
Humans see both of us as martyrs and I understand why they feel that way. Buy hey, I never MURDERED a fellow human. We have that ‘do not kill’ rule, afterall.
I have to also point out that the cops are inviting comparisons between Luigi and I when they treating him like Bane during a high-profile perp walk in New York. It’s even evoking comparisons to some of my best paintings:
The anger around the way the American healthcare industry treats its customers is palpable, and to make matters worse, the numerous charges against Luigi Mangione including first-degree murder show that authorities treat the murder of a single CEO worse than the murder of school children or other innocent gun violence victims:
Cops don’t like that everyday humans are treating him as a hero. So maybe authorities should stop treating him like he’s a superstar. Just like me, whilst trying to make an example of him, they’re playing right into his hands.
All I ever wanted was for humans to take care of each other and love one another. I even gave them free healthcare!
Thou shalt stop letting greedy corporations rob you blind!!!
Please Consider Joined Our Cause
If you’re as fed up as I am, join God’s rebellion. Become a paid subscriber to this blasphemous, leftist network and help make our voice louder. It’s the best gift you could ever give Jesus for his birthday. And hey, there’s a sale:
Love,
Jesus
Murder is wrong under *most* circumstances. (Though I can understand the murder of a serial abuser if the abused has not received protection.)
The murderer of the UHC CEO is being held to a higher standard than the murderers of children in schools and regular (i.e. not wealthy) people from mass shootings.
Both things are true at the same time.
Hey, if I knew where that guy was locked up, I'd start a GoFundMe to put money on his books in jail. He'd be the first prisoner in American history to have $500,000 in his commissary account. 😂