Dear Humans,
CNN employs one of the worst people in the world, Scott Jennings, to help create fireworks on their flailing news network.
Believe me when I tell you I never want to give this guy a minute of my attention, but I had to make an exception when I heard he was accurately called out for not having Christ-like values.
On Tuesday, CNN’s NewsNight was discussing the Daniel Penny verdict. This douchebag was charged with killing a homeless man when he put the man in a chokehold for six minutes. But Penny was acquitted on Monday.
Discussing the news, here’s how it went down on CNN:
“I think Penny was the victim in this case,” Jennings said.
“I have a tendency to call the people who die the victim,” anchor Audie Cornish replied, “that’s how I’m built, it’s just a Christian thing.”
“Are you saying I”m not a Christian?” he replied.
“It’s a values based comment,” she said, before turning to the rest of her panel and telling them all he’s acting like this because he “needs a clip for the internet.”
BEHOLD!
SMITE! She’s right, he totally sucks!
And for the record, yes Scott, I - Jesus Christ - do think you’re not a Christian.
A real Christian would - as Audie put it - call someone who died at the hands of a murderer the victim!
A real Christian would side with the poor. “Blessed are the poor,” remember?!?
A real Christian would know that I would beg for mercy for Jordan Neely while Daniel Penny needlessly kept him in a chokehold.
A real Christian knows that Jesus would never endorse, as Scott Jennings does, systemic racial injustice.
JESUS HELPED THE HOMELESS, REMEMBER?!!?
Scott Jennings is an evil douchebag who lies for money.
Can I get an amen???
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Now go forth, spread the word of Jesus, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love and Peace,
Jesus
Jesus Jumping Jehosephat! Can't these self identified christians at least read the new testament, the Beatitudes for certain, and try to sound a bit like a Real Christian??? And, yes, God, you get the biggest AMEN!!! I can write!
Every time I hear someone proclaiming "I'm a Christian!" I want to say "Yes? So why aren't you acting like one?"