SMITE! Kamala Now Leading Donold In Iowa

Donold blows it...literally.

Dear Humans,

With 2 days left till we elect Kamala Harris Madame President and fire Demented Donold forever, so many miracles are happening!

For one thing, Kamala hath now LEPT AHEAD of Donold in IOWA! That’s a state Donold previously won twice. No one saw this coming, and it’s because women are shifting heavily towards Kamala.

GLORY HALLELUJAH!

And while we are looking at polls…

KEEP KAMALA AND CARRY-ON-ALA

In addition, Kamala did a sketch on SNL with Maya Rudolph, and looked so happy she was positively glowing. She knows she’s got this thing won. If you didn’t see it yet, give thyself a little treat.

HAN SOLO ENDORSES KAMALA

I know it’s not Han Solo, but it’s more fun when you watch it that way.

Because he’s right! Even the Imperial Generals are like, whoa, this Tangerine Palpatine is insane. I mean sure, Darth Vader will choke you with the dark side of the force. But has he ever dressed up as garbage man and blown his microphone?? Just humiliating.

DONOLD BLOWS IT…LITERALLY

With only 2 days left till Election Day 2024, the chosen candidate of the Christian right wing:

• Danced to YMCA

• Pretended to jerk off two imaginary giraffes

• Jerked off his microphone

• Gave his microphone a blowjob because he’s a macho, macho man

I am God.

I made the world…but I could not make this stuff up if I tried.

That poor microphone never asked for this.

How did the corporate media cover Donold sexually assaulting his microphone? They totally sane-washed it, of course, because their billionaire owners very clearly want him to win.

But the American people know better. They have eyes.

And after ten years, those eyes have seen ENOUGH.

I’d rather be us than them.

2 days left and his rallies in swing states continue to have TONS of empty seats.

PREPARE YE, FOR DONOLD’S FINAL DOWNFALL!

This one is REALLY good…lmao.

THE OFFERING PLATE

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