Thou Shalt Not Blame Democrats For Big Hurricanes

They’ve been trying to warn you for 54 years.

Dear Humans,

It must be Hurricane Season, because Republicans are back to denying climate change. But lo, this year they have come up with a new lie! This year they are forming a new conspiracy theory; directly blaming extreme weather on Democrats trying to ‘steal the election.’

Now I know what you’re thinking; this Chuck guy was just making a funny joke to mock that piece of crap CatTurd. But you would be wrong. I checked his profile, and this Chuck guy is a huge election denier and Donald supporter. Chuck sucks.

But do you know what this means? It means….HAHAHAHAHA HOLY 💩 THESE CRETINS ARE STUPID AF. The fact that it just “popped up on the radar out of nowhere?” He literally just described how tropical storms and hurricanes are formed.

Look, I found another idiot.

Just in case you never used Twitter, he said the bottom part first. Which was directly contradicted by his very next post, making him a contradickhead. These people could be drowning in a flood and their last words would be:

“The Weather Channel has to fuel the fake narrative about climate GLUB GLUB GLUB…” - Todd Starnes, in 2027

Now, if you’re like God, you might just be asking yourself:

But don’t worry! God did a little Google search and found this:

The date on that article is 2014! Apparently, this HAARP idea is a ten-years-old conspiracy theory.

That’s right, in case your innocent heart (like mine) has attempted to sanitize the past in order to keep you sane, reflect on the fact that the right wing was on ‘weather manipulation’ back in 2014.

Of course, it goes back much farther than that and has its roots in antisemitism. The idea of Jewish people being responsible for weather calamities harks back to medieval Europe. Jewish people were often blamed for plagues, famines, and other natural disasters.

And now they even came up with Jewish Space Lasers! Jews…in space!

What’s weird is they used to LOVE hurricanes! They used to say I sent every hurricane to punish gay people for existing. They’ll probably be back to that bullshit next.

For now, they’re merely:

• Denying climate change even though the evidence is being rubbed in their faces by God

• Asserting that Democrats control the weather and sent Hurricane Helene to stop Republicans from voting for Donald Trump

• Planning to eliminate aids for families and businesses rebuilding after storms once Donold is elected

What’s truly sad about all this is that the Democrats have been trying to warn Americans about climate change since the year 1970. That’s right, the first Earth Day was celebrated on April 22, 1970. It was formed by Democratic Senator Gaylord Nelson of Wisconsin.

In reality-land, the Republicans have been fighting against the concept ever since, always in favor of big companies that do all the polluting.

THOU SHALT NOT BLAME THE DEMOCRATS FOR BIG HURRICANES.

They’ve been trying to warn you for 54 years.

THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!

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