Thou Shalt Not Criticize Hurricane Response When You Threw Paper Towels At People

Dear Humans,

Hurricane Helen has now taken the lives of 128 people across 6 states. The federal government was prepared and every governor affected has praised President Biden for his assistance.

But lo, the right wing a-holes are pretending that Joe Biden isn’t helping at all. Putin puppet and openly pedophile congressman Matt Gaetz jumped into the fray and was quickly smote down to the ground.

Desperate and fearful of the loss he knows is coming, Donold is making up blatant lies again.

And while I know he lies nonstop, there’s another category of lie he’s doing more often now, let’s just call them…oh…BLATANT BALD-FACED LIES PULLED DIRECTLY FROM SATAN’S ANUS.

You know what I mean? Let’s review but a few of these outright lies:

• The election was stolen

• Democrats kill babies after they’re born

• “They’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs”

• Schools are doing transgender surgery on your children when you’re not looking

• Georgia governor Brian Kemp is “having a hard time getting the president on the phone. They’re being very non-responsive.”

FACT-CHECK SMITE: Kemp told reporters that Biden had already called him, which he appreciated.

“He's lying. And the governor told him he was lying…. I've spoken to the governor, spent time with him…. I don't know why he does this. And the reason I get so angry about it, I don't care about what he says about me, but I care what he communicates to the people that are in need. He implies that we're not doing everything possible. We are…. I assume you heard the Republican Governor of Georgia talk about that he was on the phone with me more than once. So that's simply not true. And it's irresponsible.” said Biden in response to a reporter.

LEST WE FORGET, Donold was TERRIBLE at disaster response. It was his fatal flaw. Let’s review but a few of his failures:

• Withheld aid from Democratic governors after disasters

• Refused California federal aid for wildfires

• Blocked aid for North Carolina

• Blocked Puerto Rico from getting Hurricane Aid

• Threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans

• Attacked the mayor of San Juan, trying to shift all blame for his horrific response onto her

There are probably more instances. Oh yeah, his covid response got over a million people killed. He attacked Dr. Fauci. In a disaster, he always looks for a patsy he can pin it on.

Thou Shalt Not Criticize Hurricane Response When You Threw Bounty Paper Towels At People!

THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!

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HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF SMITE