Thou Shalt Not Pretend The Foo Fighters Support Brain Worms Guy

Dear Humans,

Lo, it was a long week, and God was already exhausted from partying, fornicating, and experiencing pure joy. Then it all came crashing down on Friday. Imagine already having a hangover, turning on the TV, and being forced to endure the prattle of RFK Jr. and Donold. Pure hell.

If there be one silver lining, ’tis that we likely won’t have to see or hear of RFK Jr. from this point forward. I never needed to know that he hath brain worms. I never needed to know that he keeps a freezer full of roadkill at all times. I certainly never needed to know that he struck a baby bear with his car and then dumped its lifeless body in Central Park.

What am I to do with this knowledge? It resideth now in my brain forevermore. This must be what it feels like to have brain worms.

Thou shalt not shill for a cabinet position. Thou shalt not be beholden to nepo-baby Tim Mellon. Thou shalt not endorse Donold merely because Kamala hath spurned thy advances. BUT MOST OF ALL: Thou shalt not use “My Hero” by Foo Fighters as RFK Jr.’s walk-out song without permission.

The Foo Fighters art cool and would ne’er do such a thing. They weren’t asked permission, of course, for they would ne’er have granted it. The Foo Fighters hath already vowed to combat this foolery, and any royalties they receiveth from this misuse shalt be donated to the Harris/Walz campaign.

Thou shalt not pretend that The Foo Fighters support brain worms guy OR drink bleach guy!

THE LORD HATH SPOKEN!

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