Thou Shalt Not Steal Music For Thy Cult Rallies

Why doesn't Donold use Lara's music instead?

Dear Humans,

BEHOLD! Ten days ago, Lara Trump, wife of Donald’s son Eric, dropped a new single called ‘Hero,’ which purports to praise firefighters for their heroism. Her video doth exploit many images of firefighters who perished in the line of duty. The song has been described as “torture” and accused of “violating the Geneva convention.”

For those who revel in the truly awful, here is the music video:

Verily, it is not good. And it is indeed strange to see the co-chair of the Republican National Committee putting forth such music, so close to the election. Are they not concerned about the backlash from releasing such horrid work into the universe? Is Lara merely using this moment to expand her profile? Did she ever flame out on ‘American Idol’? Forsooth, I would love to see Simon Cowell’s judgment of her singing.

This debacle didst also remind me that JD Vance was recently booed with great fervor at a speech given to the International Association of Fire Fighters. Perchance the Trump campaign is worried? If they lose the firefighters, they reason, they have no shot of winning.

AH! But what if Lara put out a hokey song praising them as heroes??

Or mayhaps it is not connected—who can say?

I do know this; the Trump campaign has been stealing popular music from artists since he first started having rallies with his cult.

Donald has used music without permission from many artists, including Adele, The Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Queen, R.E.M., Bruce Springsteen, Prince, Pharrell Williams, Tom Petty, Elton John, The Beatles (Estate of George Harrison), Linkin Park, Guns N' Roses, Panic! at the Disco, The Village People, Luciano Pavarotti (Estate), Leonard Cohen (Estate), Aerosmith, Ozzy Osbourne, Twisted Sister, Rihanna, Earth, Wind & Fire, The O'Jays, Dexys Midnight Runners, Everlast, Jack White (The White Stripes), Isaac Hayes (Estate), ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, Phil Collins, and Axl Rose.

Many of these artists have pushed back and proceeded with legal action. The financial penalty at this point would likely be in the tens of millions.

Why doth the Donold campaign steal music when Lara Trump is right there putting out original songs? Is her music somehow not good enough for them?? It’s just as bad as 3 Doors Down…and they played at his inauguration.

I mean, yea, her songs sound like a deer who’s been hit by an SUV and is wildly bleating for its life, only to see RFK Jr. pull over and step out…but at least they’re original! Right?!? Donold could use her music, shine a light on his family’s ‘talents,’ and cease stealing from artists.

However, he seemeth to be having trouble keeping his own cult members awake or from leaving his rallies early because he never doth shut up…so mayhaps he needs bangers like “YMCA” to keep his “basement dwellers” conscious. He shalt be smote for this!

Thou Shalt Not Steal Music For Thy Cult Rallies!

THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!

Can I get an amen? 🙏