Trump Supporters Are Freaking Out After Donald Freezes Their Federal Aid
FAFO.
Dear Humans,
Do you hear that? It’s the sound of Trump’s own supporters screaming in terror as his latest “masterstroke” freezes all federal grants and loans, pulling the rug out from under millions—including the very people who voted for him. Let’s break this down.
1. Conservative Churches Hit By Freeze
Trump, in his infinite idiocy and corruption, decided to freeze ALL federal grants and loans. This includes SNAP/EBT, TANF, WIC, federal student loans, and other critical programs. In addition, “Mr. Drain-The-Swamp” just fired 15 Inspectors General, the watchdogs responsible for rooting out corruption and ensuring funds are properly used. It’s looting in broad daylight.
But while liberals have been warning about Trump’s cruelty for years, MAGA supporters are only now realizing—too late—that they’ve been played.
Take “MyNamesNotJeremy,” the facilities director for a conservative church collective, who’s now in panic mode.
Thoughts and tariffs, Jeremy.
2. MAGA Tears Are Delicious
Whether it be freezing funding, deportations, tarrifs, or ending DEI programs, Trump’s voters thought they were electing a savior to punish everyone they hate. Instead, they’re the ones bearing the brunt of his policies.
Did you know that white women were the prime beneficiaries of DEI programs, by far? Lots of Trump supporters in that group.
3. God’s Final Word
Dear MAGA disciples, thou canst drink from the cup of racism without tasting its bitter taste. Thy messiah has abandoned thee, freezing the very loans and grants keeping thy pews, roofs, and “small governments” afloat.
If thou fucketh around, thou shalt find out.
4. Join the Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.
We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.
"I've always enjoyed your FB posts. This inauguration, I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!" — Nancy
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 8 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
Attention MAGA: You spent years screeching about the AntiChrist, looking for him in every person who was slightly different from you. Then when he did show up, you declared him your messiah and gave him the power he sought. He has no more use for you and does not care if you suffer.
If thou fucketh around, thou shalt find out.