Dearest Human,
Behold! The MAGA faithful have FINALLY turned on their golden idol. The schadenfreude is absolutely delicious. For years, Trump’s supporters have defended everything he’s said and done. But according to thousands of social media posts, they’ve finally turned on him. It’s all happening, folks. Welcome to Day 3 of the Great MAGA Civil War of 2024!
That’s right, MAGA is imploding and it’s not even 2025.
1. The Betrayal That Broke MAGA
Both sides were anxiously waiting to see where Donold’s loyalties would lie. Spoiler alert: He sided with the billionaire dingus who bought him the election. Shocking, I know.
“Did we get fucking swindled?” asked one fool on r/conservative. Oh, you bitter winter child, how could someone be so dense? Of course you got swindled. We’ve been screaming it at the top of our lungs for 8 long years. You chose fear, lies, and hatred.
2. Elon Musk Keeps Digging His Own Grave
Musk has been frantically defending the H-1B program, in the false hopes that he can quell this revolt from the peasants. All the while, Mr. Free Speech has been banning anyone who even mildly irritates him, conducting himself like a mad king.
It’s a beautiful irony: MAGA, a movement built on misinformation, crumbling under the weight of corrections from one of their own idols. Musk’s attempt to inject reason into the conversation is like throwing a lifeline to someone sinking in quicksand—they just pull you down with them.
3. Fools Realize They’ve Been Fooled (Again)
The fallout has exposed fractures in the MAGA coalition. On one side, hardliners are doubling down on xenophobia, blaming Indian immigrants for “stealing American jobs.”
On the other, disillusioned conservatives are waking up to the grift that’s been staring them in the face for years.
For decades, Trump’s properties have been a conveyor belt of visa-dependent workers. He’s officially been Team H-1B since 2019, yet his base acts as if this is some grand betrayal. Why are they so surprised? Have these people even Googled their own leader? How are they going to learn to code for SpaceX if they’re too stupid to Google?!
4. Our Ultimate Victory Starts NOW
God is thoroughly enjoying watching the forces of evil turn on each other. Truly, their hate-fueled ‘movement’ is crumbling under the weight of its own hypocrisy.
We may have lost a battle, but the war is far from over. The gaping logical holes in their ideology are too vast to ignore. Now is not the time to go to brunch. Now is not the time to relax. Now is the time to press the advantage. Drive the wedge between them deeper and deeper. Amplify these fractures at every opportunity. Never stop mentioning them. Never let them forget.
Divided they fall; united we rise. Keep your eyes on the prize, friend. Together, we can win this war.
5. Join The Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Every network and billionaire seems to be bending the knee to Donold Trump and his fascist ambitions. The man literally wants to take over the world—and he’s coming for all of us who dare to oppose him.
We are risking everything to stand against him and his goons. Your support isn’t just helping us keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for truth, resistance, and survival.
So if you’ve enjoyed today’s righteous reckoning, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. Upgrade your subscription today at 20% off before the sale ends tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and keep the smites coming.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
PS - Make sure to follow God on Bluesky!
All these idiots who voted for him and this shitshow and now regret it can still eat shit and die, just as I felt the day after the election. That they now realize their huge mistake is not much of a consolation. He will take office in January, you stupid, blind, shallow, gullible assholes. Now we all will have to suffer. Fuck you, trump voters.
WOW!
The Lord does work in Mysterious Ways 🙏
Who would have guessed that Billionaires would ultimately side with their Big Business interests over their fabulous flock of MAGA Fools?
Anyone with half a brain, obviously, but that’s the point 🫡🇺🇸🫡