Why God Is Thankful Today

Dearest Humans,

Happy Thanksgiving! May your day be filled with gratitude, laughter, and hopefully no fights with crazy relatives.

Lo, it hath been a long, hard year full of madness and trials—but today is the day we pause to give thanks for what we still hold dear.

Here’s God’s official list of gratitude:

• I am thankful for you, my faithful subscribers, who make this whole endeavor worthwhile. You have been there for me when I was at my lowest. Without you, I would cease to exist.

• I am thankful for my Substack ‘Letters from God,’ which turns 7 months old next week. Truly, it is but a fledgling, yet it soars!

• I am thankful for the exodus to Bluesky, a sanctuary from the chaos and evil of X. I am thankful this has neutered the power of X and Threads and that Elon and Zuck are worried.

• Did I mention I’m thankful for you?? Seriously, if it wasn’t for your support, I would have lost everything this year.

And you are thankful for my work as well, it seems! Here are but a few of the beautiful notes I’ve gotten lately from new paid subscribers:

• "You are awesome. Your posts give me hope and this is one of the darkest times in my life." - Josh

• "I love that you speak forthright and I believe in you. What you have to say resonates with me and since you are God, you can even be irreverent and I'm here for that, as well." - Carol

• "Love you, God!" - Robert

• "I subscribed because as a 52 year old basic, boring, straight, ornery, divorced white woman, I need more of what you're putting out into the universe in my life. There are so many Grade A Assholes upchucking their MAGA bullshit everywhere I look and, like the humble churches of yore, your writing makes me feel supported, cherished, and brave. Lead the way and I will walk beside you." - Coby

• "The stuff you write is biting, true and funny" - Michael

• "No holding back commentary that aligns with my “agnostic as best” beliefs." - Sherry

This Thanksgiving, let us reflect on the absurdity of the world, the resilience of our spirits, and the wonder that is pie.

Yes, pie. Verily, it is a gift from above.

And speaking of gifts, here’s a little something to show my thanks:

I’m offering 20% off subscriptions to Letters from God for a limited time.

Through end-of-day Monday, you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim God’s Thanksgiving Special and support God’s radical leftist network. Don’t miss out on this divine deal and unlock all our exclusive content.

Support independent media! We’re all you have left.

Love,

God