67 Comments

Not to mention that like Kamala's husband, you're a good Jewish boy, kept kosher, the Last Supper was a Passover Seder, and you work in your Father's business...

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You might be just a tad overqualified JC? But you would certainly drive the christofascist cult to incoherent incongruous distraction. And if anyone can make the orange Felon howl ‘No Fair’ it would be the Harris JC ticket!!

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Oh, Jesus. You would be a wonderful VP in so many ways, as you’ve so humbly stated, but you are quite ineligible. Perhaps you missed the part in your Constitutional Law class about the separation of church and state. You are so closely aligned with the Christian church that you would have a ginormous perceived conflict of interest. At times, that COI would become real, and that would cause your impartiality to be questioned. You wouldn’t want to end up like the Supreme Court, would you? So, thank you so much for putting yourself forward, stepping up to the plate, and informing us of your qualifications. Nonetheless, nonetheless, we decline your offer. Please remember that we would also turn down your Mom and Dad, Mohammed, and anyone else who is the object of worship. Have a good day. Sincerely, The Constitution of the USA

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Bahahaaaaa!!!

Oh my, you are one gifted lady!!!

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Good! :D:D:D

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Harris/JFC ‘24 🇺🇸

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Dang JC ~ Sadly, I don't see this plan working. I think your Birth address as Nazareth, disqualifies you. We'll need some birther docs right quick. Lineage matters. 📜 😉 😜

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What if he's resurrected in America? He can get some form of born again certificate.

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I have said, when the GOP, Donald, or his other minions speak lies. I yell at the tv, "Jesus,don't like y'all!!" I knew I was right!! Lol 🤣

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Sorry, Jesus. I have to come down on the side of the First Amendment and the separation of church and state. We don’t want to immediately start off with a violation of the constitution. That’s in the GOP’s wheelhouse!

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The merchandising opportunities alone spell success! 🙏

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founding

Plus, you have 12 dudes to back you up. From what I've heard on the podcast, all 12 would take a bullet for you, have definitely covered your body, and have probably taken at least one shot from you already.

Defender Disciples Assemble!

However, are you a natural-born citizen of the US?

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I'm sure we can make an exception, just to have the oldest VP ever

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founding

I hadn't thought of that. Jesus better take a cognitive screening test and play a round of golf walking to reassure the public he’s fit for the office.

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He helped create the US, does that count? 🤣 Jk, we are aware that you were born in the Middle East and currently reside throughout the world, so it would be a demotion of sorts even if you qualified!

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Hey there J. You might very well have a ton of qualities that would make you a good pick. Alas, you were not born in the United States, thus do not meet a basic qualification to run for that office.

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and i was really hoping that magdalena could serve as cabinet member?

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Lol

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About time a well qualified candidate shows up , hopefully well financed and has their own transportation . My question is how do you get in the ballot - residency requirements - age ? 2000 years - and a very worn wardrobe ?

I’m afraid you will be mistaken for another immigrant without papers and if you’re in Florida , a free airplane ride to a neighborhood of great wealth and power under the pretense of burdening the local residents .

So good luck !

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This is literally what would happen, especially in TX or FL

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Well, I'd be down for that. But as everyone else says it's just that separation of church and state in the first Amendment of the Constitution (which is ironic, given that supporters of Project 2025* are gung-ho about getting rid of it. I mean, how the hell do you get rid of a 248 year old document?)

*People are stupid. Stay with me here. There's still a demographic of people who have never picked up a textbook and read their own history. They don't know what the Civil War is about. They think Louie Armstrong was the first man on the moon.

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Would that demographic buy it if we “remind” them he was born in Bethlehem, PA?

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Sure. And grew up in Nazareth.

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Hey, is that in PA too? Good electoral strategy

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I don't think the birther objections here can stick. Being co-eternal with God the Father, JC was literally born everywhere and nowhere (baby. Sorry) Hence he is, by definition a native born US American

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I’d be thrilled if you’d go overturn some money changer tables, further taken Truth Social, deport a few really nasty immigrants(Musk, Murdock, Ted Cruz for a start). As for who Madam VP will choose, I’m good with any of them. I’m sure she will listen to you and some of your better angels before she announces though.

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