72 Comments
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Jane in NC's avatar

Only two months in, and we've already reached the Honest Donnie's Used Cars part of the story. Damn, this reboot sucks.

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Karyn Milos's avatar

Honest Donnie's Used Cars! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Just waiting now to see him don a plaid polyester sport coat.

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KHKate's avatar

Winning comment!

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Jacqueline Klein's avatar

At least he waited till the last few months of his last disastrous 1st term to start hawking black beans from the Oval Office.

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Koko in AZ's avatar

I remember way back during Trump's first term being afraid to read the news each morning to learn what crazy shit Trump had done. But during this term, it's about what daily embarrassing and humiliating thing he has done to our country's reputation...and wondering how many years it will take to fix the disaster he leaves in his wake.

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Auntie Jelli's avatar

Am I the only one who hopes tRump's new car gets repossessed since he has a habit of not paying his bills?

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Steffi seitz's avatar

He likely got it for free

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Auntie Jelli's avatar

That I believe

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John Pullen's avatar

May as well give it to him; he doesn't pay his bills.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Who says he even has it? It's just as likely that he's just lying.

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KK Stafford's avatar

Does he even know how to drive?

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Nancy's avatar

Probably not; he's a native New Yorker, possibly even a native New York City-er, which means he's never had to learn to drive (whereas in California, there have been times when 16 year olds have been given real driver's licenses [/raises_hand]. Seriously, cars are to us what horses are to Cossacks and Mongols; you can't get anywhere without 'em ;->).

He's also a /rich/ native NY(C)'er, so maybe only his family's chauffeur(s) had to know how to drive. ;->

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I was hoping agent orange’s new car would burst into flames with him and the muskrat in it holding hands🤓

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LJ57's avatar

I had a fit of the giggles reading the part about ketamine shortages here and on Mars.

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Sarah_Goldflies_Herrle's avatar

I became a news addict during the 2016 campaign because I so wanted to see donny fail. I haven’t broken my news addiction because I’m still waiting for that day.

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Samantha's avatar

Ah, and what a glorious day it will be. In fact, I believe that we are witnessing the demise of these nightmarish reality bubbles as we speak...er...write. A 'reality' such as this can neither continue nor thrive, being as top heavy and anti-life as it is. We need to take heart and help this process of dissolution - of Mump and all that that implies - by getting out of the way and on with our lives. We have already given them WAY too much of our time, our peace of mind, our creativity and our love. Shall we call for a National Dance-in-the-Streets Party? How about a Moon-The-Prez-&-VP Party? Oh, the possibilities are endless, and the looks on HIS face would be absolutely priceless.

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Elle's avatar

Taco trucks on every corner and mariachi bands in-between.

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Teddy Gingerich's avatar

I'd totally be down for that. I live tacos and mariachi music!

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Elle's avatar

I do too.

Grew up in the Pacific Northwest. Lots of migrant workers in the agricultural sector there, and I had contact with them a lot through my church since we were the type to pick our own fruit and produce and can it or whatever. NOT LDS. Not sure SDA was necessarily *better*, as they're VERY conservative, though at least they do not, denominationally, support trump. Which at least means I can talk to some of my family.

Anyway, I used to regularly go to various states in northern Mexico during Spring Break with my church youth group. Not to party, or even to party towns: to build churches. I'm not sure how I feel about the build-a-church aspect now, given the denomination, but it did give me a first-hand perspective on how ordinary people lived, since we stayed in the homes of the people for whomever we were building the church. Or we camped. Ate the same foods they did, the works. Made sure we weren't a financial burden, too. In general, we tried to be respectful visitors.

I found that I really like Mexico as a country, and deeply respect the Mexican people and the fascinating differences in cuisine and culture just feom state to state.

I still look for opportunities to improve my Spanish. Which is basically toddler level, to be blunt. Lots of room for improvement.

OTOH, I could have some pretty fun conversations with toddlers, and they thought I was both hilarious and pretty fun, so I was always considered a good babysitter for the church member moms while they were cooking or whatever, on those Spring Break trips. It was a way to be useful. Definitely a better way to spend my time there than partying. I wasn't an asshole American on those trips.

And I lived in San Diego for awhile, and Albuquerque, both of which have fabulous Mexican food and taco trucks. I like mariachi bands, too.

Basically, I just like Mexico and its incredibly diverse people. Have never understood why--or tolerated--the racism expressed about the country or the people.

Yeah, there's a lot of governmental corruption--but I don't think America has any basis left to claim moral high ground. If we ever did to begin with.

And their current president, Dr. Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo, is straight up AMAZING.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I’m like you, Sherrie. I had been pretty apathetic when it came to politics until agent orange arrived on the scene. After the last election, I couldn’t listen to or read the news. I can’t stand looking at or hearing the pretend president. Now I have fallen into the Substack rabbit hole😵‍💫 I literally spend hours reading the posts. I have to force myself to stop so I can feed my four-legged kids🥴

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Patty Smith's avatar

Me too.

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Scott Bernstein's avatar

That was really cool of Dump to take time out of his busy schedule of golf and sucking off Putin to do a shitty car commercial with his nazi shit bag buddy. Yep, a true Golden Age of Umurica.

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The Fact And Just The Facts's avatar

Pathetic is not strong enough a word. How are they so clueless? Let’s play monopoly where everything in the world is for sale or conquest. I remember one of the questions asked about then President Nixon. “Would you buy a used car from this guy?”

The question for TFG is “Would you buy a fire extinguisher from TFG if your house were on fire?” The answer is, “No. It surely won’t work.”

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Debbie Wilkerson's avatar

Sorry I haven’t been on here much lately! March is weird for me. Birthday (6th) is ok, wedding anniversary on 10th and husband died on 18th. All different years of course.

And Grump isn’t getting any better, just worse. Feeling really tired…

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God's avatar

No worries, Debbie! We’re here whenever you can join us.

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LJ57's avatar

Self care, Debbie

We will be here when you are ready.

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Lucinda W's avatar

Not a chance Trump is buying a Tesla, at least not with his own money. Elon just contributed another $100k so this was transactional. Trump had to do the promo to get the contribution. That's my take. I doubt he's driven a car himself in decades, people are paid to do that, stuff comes to him.

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Martha's avatar

I doubt Donny has a driver’s license, or even knows how to drive a car.

He’s always been a chauffeured Bubble Boy.

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Nancy's avatar

In New York, yeah, where they hardly have to learn how to drive with fairly decent mass transit. :)

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I was thinking the exact same thing!

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Christie sebo's avatar

You know being a billionaire just isn't what it used to be. Everyday, every one of them must meet angry faces wherever they go. They are no longer who anyone aspires to be, I'd rather be poor as opposed to despised. I don't have a choice about the poor, but if only rich people hate me I don't give a hoot.

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Aleksander Constantinoropolous's avatar

This is the kind of unhinged brilliance that makes you wonder: are we living in reality or just trapped inside one of Elon’s fever dreams?

Musk’s empire is crumbling so fast, he’s practically duct-taping it together with Trump’s barely-literate sales pitch. “Boycotting Tesla is illegal”? Sure, buddy. Right up there with windmills causing cancer and injecting bleach curing COVID. At this rate, Trump’s next gig is gonna be hawking Cybertrucks at Mar-a-Lago while Tucker Carlson stands in the background screaming about woke windshield wipers.

And let’s talk about that sales script. The man who once convinced people he was playing 4D chess is now reading off a dealership flyer like a washed-up infomercial host. “For just $299 a month, you too can experience the thrill of self-driving technology that definitely won’t mistake a stop sign for a green light!”

This is it, folks. The final, desperate gasps of billionaire ego. Watching these guys panic is like watching a villain monologue in a movie right before the hero presses the detonator. Keep boycotting. Keep roasting. Keep laughing.

Because nothing hurts fragile men more than realizing the world is laughing at them, not with them.

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Nancy's avatar

Yeah, kind of like that scene in "A New Hope," where Grand Moff Tarkin is invited to bugger out in a personal shuttle...

"In our moment of triumph? I hardly think --"

BLAM!! :D

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Phyllosaurus53's avatar

What a fucking shitshow. Where the fuck am I? I didn’t sleep well last night. My wife and I have not been sleeping well. How this world can just go on business as usual is beyond me. But at least one heinous, awful business is sliding into what I hope is oblivion. And hopefully the majority shareholder goes along with it. I think Putin must be killing hi self laughing at all this. And when the USA is at its most desperate, dissolved into civil war, he will March his Russian and Korean troops right in in to North America.

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Suessl's avatar

Not if he has to go through Canada. Those geese and all.

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Robot Bender's avatar

I think Trump and our drunk Secretary of Defense will get a very rude awakening if they try to invade Canada. Remember Napoleon and Moscow? Remember Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq? It'll be a bloody mess.

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Phyllosaurus53's avatar

It’s just that from what I’ve heard, our military isn’t at all what it should be. We don’t have companies like Raytheon and Northrop on top of the latest warfare technology. I have heard from former military members that duct tape is essential for our equipment. That’s does not make me feel at all secure.

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Phyllosaurus53's avatar

Infact I’d love to see an episode of South Park that shows Putin and his cronies getting high, laughing and texting the orange dumb dumb what he should do next.

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Lady Emsworth's avatar

I'd like to see an episode where Canada saves America after Pootie tries to march his troops through to invade. . .

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Jan Frederick's avatar

The only driving Chump is and will be doing is driving this country into the ground! This 💩 is sooooo embarrassing. I think a smite in the form of key marks would be appropriate here, maybe something like "I don't break for Magats", or "Orange Menace". Thank you, God!! Amen!! Awomen! Ramen!

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Kay G's avatar

The American automakers who donated to Trump should demand equal time for a commercial from the President.

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SMurf888's avatar

Oh, dear God!! I think OLD Donold has finally found the Son (a bona fide Don, Jr.) he's always wished one of his many wives and Stormies might have produced for HIM. His Boy Elon!!!

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Ranger Adams's avatar

How are the average Trump voters going to afford a Tesla? You won't ever see many of these shitty, overpriced cars parked in front of trailers. I also remember when Trump was trying to sell anti-malaria meds as a covid vaccine. The prime minister of India GAVE Trump millions of doses of that drug, saying that it did NOTHING against covid, but that he was welcome to it. HOW MANY DIED BECAUSE OF TRUMP'S CONS???

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Robot Bender's avatar

The average Trump voter doesn't even know what a Tesla looks like.

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Nancy's avatar

Around 400,000 or so, last I recall, and that's just in America. :-/

That betrayal alone should have disqualified him.

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