Dear Humans,
Yesterday Trump officially launched his “Trump Gold Cards.”
What a diabolical scam!
Thou shalt not paywall US citizenship!
Verily, just look at this insane bullshit.
…UNLOCK life in America?
Art thou fucking kidding God?!
Did he just fucking PAYWALL citizenship?!?!
He’s separating 6 year olds from their parents. He’s making 3 year old children attend deportation proceedings. His masked goons are arresting US citizens everyday.
He’s trying to end birthright citizenship in the Supreme Court. But now…he’s SELLING citizenship?!
WHAT KIND OF CRAZY MOBSTER WOULDST DO SUCH A THING?
And where does the money go, thou might ask? The same place all the tariff taxes you’re paying go! To a private piggy bank controlled directly by President Felon’s crime syndicate.
He keeps all the money for himself and does with it what he wants, such as building the new Golden Epstein Ballroom! Or the Arc Derp Trump!
He wants the ballroom to be twice as big as the Washington Monument. Methinks he’s overcompensating for his tiny trumpet.
All this while even Fox News must admit that every aspect of American life is more expensive.
He wants your children to get by with less, while he gets by with so much more.
And if all that wasn’t enough, the evil bastard is starting a war right before Christmas.
THAT’S MY SON’S BIRTHDAY, ASSHOLE!
They will claim this is fighting Iranian terrorism, but that’s nonsense.
This is 100% about stealing oil.
Then after he paywalled citizenship, and after he stole a tanker of oil from Venezuela, Sleepy Donald promptly fell asleep again.
The Chairman of the Federal Reserve had just blamed Trump’s tariffs for the historic spike in inflation… and Donald responded by slurring through his teeth and calling him a “deadhead Fed hair.” Whatever that means!
Fuck you, Donald.
Between the constant MRIs, dementia tests, and scandals…it’s a lot.
Sooner or later, Trump’s bubble must burst.
In fact, God’s got a feeling Trump’s whole family is going down.
Keep going, humans.
Hang on just a little bit longer.
Love,
God
PS - If you enjoyed today’s righteous reckoning, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign to join this wonderful community of angels and heathens, this is it.
Click here to claim your 20% off blessing and keep the smites coming.
Every time I think trump cannot go lower he pulls out a shovel and goes subterranean. He is without a doubt the worse human on the planet.
In Trumpworld, poor people are losers. Lower than dirt. Born to be trodden on. Lesser than the stinking dead fungal skin between his rotting toes.
You gotta have poor people somewhere, though: desperate enough to do all the work for a plank in the barracks and some gruel now and then. But you want them behind a barb-wire wall, with no exit and no rights — especially no voting rights. Voting's a game for the rich where you get to string up the strange fruit losers.
All the women gotta be young, pneumatic, with long blonde hair. All the men have to have white skin and a three word vocabulary: "Oh, yes, Sire!"